Monday Morning Message – No. 283; May 14, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational, Self Improvement, Teamwork, character on May 14, 2012
Below the Surface
Many people are not fans of the social web craze, which has become a part of the world in which we live. There are of course those who participate and those who are regular “posters” on the sites. Some people even are at the extreme where their social status on the web has become their coffee in the morning – they can’t start the day without finding out who is doing what and letting everyone know what is on their mind.
I do have a Facebook page and look at it off-and-on throughout the week. With the latest format and having too many friend connections, I am not as regular in following posts and posting my thoughts as I used to be, but I do find the site interesting. If you can get past people asking for your engagement in building their farm or zoo, political posts, “forward this message or you will die” messages, and advertisements; you might find that a site like Facebook can offer an interesting perspective on life.
I was reading some posts the other day and could not help but notice the diversity of what is going on in people’s lives. One person was bragging on their latest hobby, while another was asking prayers for a friend recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. Another person was playing an online game, while another was getting ready for a big job interview. One person was finishing high school and another was having their first baby. A friend was posting jokes while another was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. In the grand scheme of it all, I realized that my current “problems” and “successes” are really only significant on a relative scale and primarily from my own perspective. In other words, the way we see our problems and successes is mainly defined by our own point of view and change in their magnitude and importance when compared to what other people are experiencing.
There is a lot going on in the lives of my friends and coworkers every day that I do not realize. The social Internet has made some of that detail more public and served to slightly increase my personal insight and awareness into other people’s lives, but there still is a lot more under the surface of which I am not aware. Each day, you interact with people at home, at work, and in your community that have a lot going on in their lives. Their attitudes and approach to a given conversation or situation is influenced by what is below the surface that is not visible to others. I need to continue to get better at not allowing my immediate perceptions to dictate my response and consider the probability that “the issue is not the issue” when interacting with others. There is a good chance that something other than the issue at hand is having some influence on the perspective and response of the other person. There is also a good chance that what is going on in my life in the background is affecting my perspective. If I take the time to think about what is influencing me, listen to others, ask questions, seek to understand the other person the best I possibly can, and empathize with their situation; I will form a much truer perspective and respond in a wiser manner, having a greater positive impact on the situation and interaction.
When you interact with others this week, think about the fact that there is more to the situation than what you are seeing and hearing. Determine to work at understanding others – what is below the surface shaping their attitudes and responses that forms their perspective – and what is influencing your own perspective, then formulate a constructive response. You may not always know or be able to find out what is really going on inside someone, but you can always count on the fact that there is more to a person than what you can observe. Maybe you will want to post your thoughts on your favorite social website, or better yet, go to www.averagecupofjoe.com and provide your thoughts for the Monday Morning Message society!
Have a great week!
“People only see what they are prepared to see.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly.” – Lao-Tzu
“We cannot choose our circumstances or consequences, but we always choose our choices.” – Brad Cook
Monday Morning Message – No. 282; April 23, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational, Self Improvement on May 7, 2012
Perceptive Perspective
While on a flight last week to Montreal, I happened to look out the window just as another jet was passing by in the opposite direction not far away. Although I’m sure the other aircraft was traveling at a similar speed to the one I was in, it appeared as though it was traveling at a significantly faster rate. Maybe you have had this experience. I couldn’t help but wonder if a person or two in the other plane were considering the same thing as they viewed my plane appearing to travel at a much faster rate than theirs.
In watching the other plane pass by, I could have concluded that my plane was traveling very slow or that the other plane was traveling very much faster. In other words, I could have let my perception of the situation determine my beliefs of what was really true. I wonder how often I do that throughout the day while interacting with others at work, or at home, or in the community and let my perspective dictate my “personal truth” regarding a situation or a person. If my truth is only based on my own biases or perspective, then I probably don’t have a true picture of reality. I need further investigation to find out what the truth really is and I need an empathetic perspective that helps me try to see things from the other person’s viewpoint.
In some cases it is not all that critical to understand another’s perspective, but when we are going to make important decisions or even draw casual conclusions about another person or their motives, we need to take the time to stop and think about what is true. We need to evaluate what may bias our own perspective and work to suppress or remove what may skew the picture and we need to do our best to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and work to understand their point of view. In doing so, we will see a truer picture of reality which will help us make better, more constructive decisions. Decisions that are based on a better understanding of the situation and not on our own perspective alone have a greater potential to have better outcomes in the end.
Work this week to see things from other people’s perspectives and to understand your own biases. It will help you make better decisions and enrich your relationships as well.
Have a great week!
Too often we… enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought – John F. Kennedy
A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong. – Thomas Szasz
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of
take offs you make.”
Monday EXTRA
Airline Humor
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other aannouncements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
2. Pilot: “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”
3. After landing: “Thank you for flying Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. Whoa!”
5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant announced: “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as heck everything has shifted.”
6. From a Airline employee: “Welcome aboard. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.”
7. “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you for flying with us, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than we do.”
8. “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
9. “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
10. “Last one off the plane must clean it.”
11. From the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight.”
12. On a flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day, during the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
13. Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, “Thanks for flying our airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?”
15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”
16. Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at Acme Airways.”
Monday Morning Message – No. 282; April 23, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in General Interest, Inspirational, Self Improvement on April 23, 2012
Taken for Granted
I visited Victoria, British Columbia on business travel this last week and enjoyed the opportunity to extend my visit to explore the area with my wife for a little break. If you have never visited there, I highly encourage you to put it on your list of places to see. The countryside is beautiful, the wildlife (talking about animals) is all around, and key attractions, such as Butchart Gardens, are amazing!
I was like a kid in a candy store when it came to viewing the scenery and wildlife. I couldn’t get enough of exploring to find bald eagles, sea life, deer, and captivating views. My wife was amused by my “ability” to find hiking trails wherever we go. Everywhere we went I asked the local people where the best places to view animals and scenic views were. Everyone had a different story of where we should go and what we should see, but what grabbed my attention was how many people took what they had in their backyard for granted.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised since I live within a half-day drive of the Grand Canyon that people travel from across the globe to see and I have only been there a few times and tend to forget that it is so nearby. I asked one lady where we should go to see bald eagles and she said that they were all around, jut look up in the sky. She didn’t seem to think it was a very big deal that they were there. Others literally have the amazing Butchart Gardens in their backyard and probably don’t spend the time to go there unless they have out-of-town visitors to entertain.
I wondered if I would start taking the scenery and wildlife for granted if I were to live there for a while. I also wonder what I take for granted each and every day, especially when it comes to people. The time I spent on my trip was refreshing and enjoyable, but what made it priceless was not the scenery or even seeing the bald eagles, but the fact that I was able to enjoy it with my wife. And there it is! What I take for granted the most – my wonderful wife! The people in our lives are more valuable than the scenery around us, the wildlife we are able to view, or the places we can go, yet we tend to take them for granted more than anything else. Maybe we get too comfortable in our routines and don’t seem to notice how special others are until they are not there or a health issue impacts their lives and ours.
Family members are an obvious target when we think of who we take for granted most often. We certainly need to be aware of their value and find ways to cherish them and our relationships each day, but what about others that you interact with each week? Have you shown appreciation for the boss who supports you when your schedule gets too crazy, the support staff that ensures you have what you need to do your job, or the numerous colleagues that provide the information you need throughout each day to do your job effectively?
What will you do this week to ensure others know that you value them? You certainly cannot be successful in your job or in life without others doing their part! Spend some time this week saying “thank you” and working to communicate value to those you tend to take for granted. As for me, I am making my rounds today to provide some “goodies” I brought back from my trip to those who are key contributors to the support required for the program in Victoria to be successful.
It is better to show others how much you appreciate them while you can, then to wish you did after they are not around anymore!
Have a great week!
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. - Mark Twain
Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday Morning Message – No. 281; April 9, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Priorities, Self Improvement, Success on April 9, 2012
Multitasking Mayhem!
Like many people I talk to, I used to think I was pretty good at multitasking. I thought I could pay attention to a conference call, check emails, and have a conversation with a person who stopped in my office at the same time without diminishing my attention to any one of these tasks. A colleague challenged me on this and set out to catch me failing to listen on a conference call while I was attending to other activities on my computer. It didn’t take him long to succeed in his quest!
A recent article forwarded by Monday Morning Message reader Michael Lucia addressed multitasking as one of the factors that makes people less productive. The writer stated that multitasking is really a distraction from being more productive and that switching from task to task (or trying to do more than one task at a time) really doesn’t work all that well. He stated, based on research, that changing tasks more than 10 times in a day drops your IQ by an average of 10 points, 15 for men, five for women (yes, men are three times as bad at multitasking than women).
I don’t know about you, but if something is going to reduce my IQ by 5 to 15 points, it is not something I want to engage in, much less brag about! Maybe our focus should be on becoming more of experts in “tasking” instead of multitasking! If we learn to do what we are working on at the moment with excellence and thoroughly without distraction, we will most likely become much more productive than trying to get everything done at once. Here are some tips offered in the article mentioned above with my own commentary added:
Work on your own agenda. Don’t let something else or someone else set the plan for your day. Many people start their day by going right to their email to find out what is going on and who needs to get information from them or inform them of something. The lengthy email list itself can be somewhat overwhelming, especially on a Monday. I don’t know too many people who like to start their day or week being overwhelmed! It is much better to take control of your own plan for the day as much as possible by beginning with setting prioritized goals for the rest of your day.
Be militant about eliminating distractions. Distractions are the enemy of productivity when it comes to getting tasks done. Many of our distractions are built into our personal operating system with the increased communications access we allow others to have. We have the Web at our fingertips, instant messaging on our desktops, and email and phones on our hips at all times. If we have something important to do, we would be better served by allowing the world around us that needs us so urgently to wait and shut our office doors, turn off our phones, texts, email, and instant messaging and focus on completing one task.
Schedule your email. Pick two or three times during the day when you are going to attend to your email. Checking your email constantly throughout the day creates a lot of noise and stifles your productivity. I am quite guilty of this; in fact, I just came back to writing this message from answering a few email distractions! I have learned to use flagging and color-coding in my email to help improve my ability to manage email and not let it manage me. I also have a rule that I try to adhere to, which is to touch each email only once as much as possible.
Work in 60 to 90 minute intervals. Apparently spending more than 90 minutes on a particular path leads to some level of brain overload and diminishes our energy significantly. It is advisable to take short breaks from a particular task by addressing something else for a few minutes, taking a quick walk, or doing something completely different to recharge. I keep a checklist of simple tasks that I can do in order to grab something quick I can accomplish and renew my energy for the larger tasks at hand. I find this also helps by giving a sense of progress and accomplishment throughout the day, especially when working on tasks that are slow movers when it comes to accomplishments or don’t have any real tangible evidence of near-term success.
Whatever method you may wish to employ, finding a way to keep from multitasking mayhem is important to your productivity and success. Hopefully some of these ideas will help you in that area. Feel free to share your ideas as well by reviewing this Monday Morning Message at www.averagcupofjoe.com and posting your comments.
Have a great week!
What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence. -Samuel Johnson
Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of people, but from doing something worthwhile. – Wilfred J. Grenfell
Good plans shape good decisions. That’s why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true. – Lester R. Bittel
Monday Morning Message – No. 280; April 2, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational, Leadership, Self Improvement, Success on April 2, 2012
Benefit of Failure
In the 1970′s, Tom Watson was the up and coming golfer on the PGA Tour. But time after time, when Tom led a tournament coming into the last round, he would choke, bogey (one stroke over par for a hole) a few holes, and finish in the middle of the pack. Soon, the media began calling him a “choker.” That kind of criticism only increased the pressure and his tendency to choke.
In an interview with Guy Yocom for Golf Digest, Watson said, “Everybody has choked. In the 1974 U.S. Open, I kept hitting the ball to the right. My nerves wouldn’t allow me to adjust. That’s what choking is—being so nervous you can’t find a swing or a putting stroke you can trust.”
Unless addressed, this tendency to choke could have ended Tom Watson’s career before it was in full swing (pardon the pun). How did he overcome his tendency to choke? “Byron gave me the best cure for it,” Watson recalled, referring to the great golf pro of the 1930’s and ’40’s Byron Nelson. “Walk slowly, talk slowly, deliberately do everything more slowly than you normally do. It has a way of settling you down.” Taking this advice helped Tom Watson overcome his nervousness and tendency to choke when it really mattered. He went on to collect seventy professional wins, including eight Major PGA championships and five British Open championships.
Everyone fails from time-to-time. It is part of life and the process of maturity and success. Most successful leaders have been through a number of failures in life, but they usually don’t think of their failures as defeats. They think of them as lessons or stepping stones to achieve personal and professional growth.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” If we can learn to see our failures as opportunities to grow and instead of dwelling on them, complaining, getting lost in self-pity, or letting failures end our personal and professional pursuits, they can become significant catalysts to our growth. How do you view failures? Are they roadblocks to your goals or stepping stones along the pathway of life that leads to your ultimate destination?
My failures have served to aid in my growth when I look at them from a learning vantage point. I have also been able to use them to help many people who are also experiencing failure in their lives.
If you hope to succeed, learn everything you can from your failures.
Have a great week!
The only time you don’t fail is the last time you try anything–and it works. – William Strong
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. – Henry J. Kaiser
You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. – Anonymous
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history. - Anonymous
Monday Morning Message – No. 279; March 26, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational, Leadership, Success, character on March 26, 2012
Dignity in Life
The following article is thought provoking. It should go without saying that if you treat people poorly as a leader, you should expect less than desirable results and a lack of desire to follow you. This certainly does not only apply to the workplace, although that is the context of the article. The way you treat others says a lot about you personally and has a great impact on not only your success in your career and relationships, but also in the satisfaction you experience personally in life as a whole.
I have been on all four sides of this issue – having been the “victim” of a lack of respect demonstrated by someone else as well as being shown great dignity, and having dished out both respect and dishonor to others. I can tell you that the giving and receiving end of the stick is much more pleasant and more successful when proper dignity is shown. I like to think that I have learned from my past failures in this area. I know that when I consider the worth of another person as an individual, the conflict at hand is treated of lesser significance than helping the other person as much as I can and in the most sensible manner.
Never forget that you are dealing with people who have lives, feelings, emotions, and worth as human beings. They are no less important or significant than you, regardless of their age, race, gender, position in the organization, or any other factor. No one deserves to be treated poorly by another person regardless of the situation. You can be upset about a situation, but when you cross the line and attack a person instead of addressing behaviors or the situation, you have diminished dignity – both yours and the other person’s.
Have a great week!
Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what that color shall be. – John Homer Miller
Commentary added in italics
Fox News – Opinion
By Donna Hicks
Published March 25, 2012
Leading with dignity in the workplace
My work has brought me up close to leaders of all kinds. There is one thing they share: highly developed technical and intellectual capacities, many of them graduates of some of the world’s most prestigious educational institutions.
They also share something else; what many of them report as a major leadership challenge: knowing what to do in charged emotional situations. In spite of their technical expertise, they rarely feel confident when faced with subordinates who are experiencing outrage; who feel they are being treated unfairly; whose unacknowledged grievances have changed them into fighting men and women. In other words, they don’t know what to do when faced with people who have experienced repeated violations of their dignity, which are, by definition, highly charged emotional events.
Their default reaction is often to use their authority and the power of their position to control the situation, often leaving the aggrieved people angrier, more resentful, and less willing to extend themselves in their jobs or their roles within an organization. The dignity violations remained unaddressed, contaminating the work environment.
A reason why the default reaction is to exert authority and control over a volatile emotional situation is that they are afraid of it. They are especially fearful of being exposed and embarrassed by a bad move or a flawed policy for which they were responsible.
I have seen otherwise brilliant leaders get caught in all of the predictable traps that ignorance of how to best handle dignity violations creates. They are not bad people who deliberately try to make life difficult for those whom they lead; they simply don’t have the knowledge, awareness and skills they need to navigate through emotional turmoil. Without an education in matters related to dignity, a most vulnerable aspect of being human, even technically gifted and well-intentioned leaders can unknowingly create an undignified work environment.
The need has never been more urgent for people in leadership positions to be educated in all matters related to dignity; both the human vulnerability to being violated, and the positive effect it has on people when they feel seen, heard, understood, and acknowledged as valuable and worthy.
The emotional impact of treating someone well and honoring their dignity has benefits that are incalculable. It’s the easiest and fastest way to bring out the best in people. The opposite is equally as true: treat people as if they don’t matter and watch how fast a destructive, if not violent, emotional storm erupts.
Leading with dignity means that leaders recognize this; that they are willing to embody what it looks like to treat others as valuable, to know what to do with people when they have been violated, and to know what to do when they have violated them. Below are some steps leaders can take to establish a culture of dignity in the workplace:
1. Make a company-wide commitment to learn about the role dignity plays in establishing a healthy and productive (and profitable) work environment. (Make a personal commitment to learn how to treat others with dignity at al times and see how it establishes profitable relationships. – BC)
2. Make a conscious effort to honor the dignity of your employees; both in everyday interactions and in the policies you create. (Focus on treating everyone with dignity – subordinates, peers, friends, family and even the complete stranger. Do so not only when you are talking to them, but when you are talking or thinking about them as well. – BC)
3. Create a work environment where your employees feel safe to speak up about the dignity violations they are experiencing. Make it easy for them by inviting them on a regular basis to talk to you about ways that you or company policies may be unknowingly harming them. (Learn to be open to criticism and advice. Give people the freedom and time to express themselves, without becoming defensive or cutting them off. This will aid in opening the door to positive, productive communication and resolving problems rather than growing them. – BC)
4. When it is reported to you that other managers and supervisors are violating the dignity of others, take action to address the situation. Make it company policy to take responsibility for the harm one causes others. No one should be above accountability. (Be bold enough and brave enough to call out when others violate the worth and dignity of another. Stand up for the weak and abused. Don’t sacrifice your own integrity to avoid paying the cost of doing what is right. – BC)
There is no greater leadership challenge than to lead with dignity, helping us all to understand what it feels like to be honored and valued and to feel the expansive benefits that come from experiencing it. Employees yearn to see good leadership from their executives and managers.
They all knows how difficult it is for their leaders to take courageous steps that could leave them vulnerable such as overriding the need to save face by admitting to having made a mistake; stepping beyond what is safe and comfortable by apologizing for hurting employees; confronting a fellow leader who has repeatedly violated people; championing one’s employees when their voices are not strong enough to speak up to a failed policy that violates their dignity.
While we all recognize how difficult leadership can be, we still have the expectation that the title of leader means something. We want it to mean that by watching dignified leadership, we, too, can expect more of ourselves and not succumb to the all-too-familiar default mode of making excuses for not opting to do what is right.
Donna Hicks,Ph.D., is an Associate, Weatherhead Center for International Affairs, Harvard University. She is the author of “Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict.”
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Monday Morning Message – No. 278; March 19, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Communication, Inspirational, Proactiveness, Self Improvement, Success, Teamwork, character on March 19, 2012
A Strong Focus
In my business, we just completed our annual performance review process. As in almost every performance evaluation I have ever been part of, whether for a person, a program, or an organization; the evaluation includes a review of strengths and weaknesses. Throughout the years I have noticed a tendency of individuals to focus their attention on the “weakness” category in response to their reviews and also in their constructive criticism of the performance of their subordinates, the team, or the organization.
If you spend the majority of your energy focusing on improving upon weaknesses, you risk the chance of reducing the strengths that got you to where you are as an individual or team to be average abilities at best. Too much focus on weaknesses can bring the entire portfolio of your abilities or the team to a mediocre performance level. In your financial investments you wouldn’t take the ones returning high yields and set them aside to focus on trying to make the investments with low returns better. You would strengthen those that are performing even more and find ways to mitigate or remove the nonperformers. In a similar way, spending time making your strengths even stronger will help you in your pursuit of success. I am not advocating completely ignoring feedback on weaknesses. You need to do what is necessary to mitigate those, but in doing so, don’t make the mistake of letting your strengths diminish.
When managing a team or when leading a program or organization, if you start by correcting people’s weaknesses, you will demoralize them and unintentionally sabotage the growth process. Instead, give your attention to people’s strengths. Focus on sharpening skills that already exist in the individual or team. Compliment positive qualities that you observe, thereby motivating people to improve upon the positive. Along the way, as you encourage the positive attributes of the person or group, you will find the opportunities to correct the deficiencies you have observed.
A good management practice is to go against the norm in management and look for people doing something right, then let them know you appreciate them and their efforts. Too often managers spend time trying to find what is wrong and correct it and they do not pay much attention to what is done right. What really excites people in their role is for their leadership to catch them doing something right and acknowledge that. Good leaders move people along by praising their progress. They don’t only notice when something good is happening, they let their people know that appreciate them. Instead of seeing something done well and thinking to themselves, “That’s great!” they verbalize their appreciation! As Dr. Ken Blanchard says, “Good thoughts in your head, not delivered, mean squat!”
What is it about you that has made you successful in your work and in your relationships? Spend time sharpening those skills! What do the people on your team do well? Make sure they know you appreciate them and spend time helping them sharpen their skills.
“If you don’t love people and want them to win, you shouldn’t be in management.” – Dr. Ken Blanchard
“Some people have greatness thrust upon them. Few have excellence thrust upon them…they achieve it. they do not achieve it unwittingly by doing what comes naturally and they don’t stumble into it in the course of amusing themselves. All excellence involves discipline and tenacity of purpose.” – John William Gardner
Monday EXTRA
Un-quotables
Actual quotes from employee performance evaluations:
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and is digging in.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- He is good at setting personal standards and then failing to achieve them.
- He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
- She has been working around glue too much.
- He has a knack for making strangers immediately.
- She brings a lot of joy when she leaves the room.
- A photographic memory, but the lens cap is on.
- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change back.
- If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.
- it takes him two hours to watch “60 Minutes.”
- The hamster on the wheel is sleeping.
I hope you didn’t have any similar comments in your performance reviews or make any like this! I’m sure the managers who wrote these got a free pass to a discussion with the Human Resources department.
Monday Morning Message – No. 277; March 12, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational, Leadership, character on March 12, 2012
Check Your Bias at the Door!
I recently attended a number of seminar sessions focused on the correct interpretation of historic documents. These sessions were part of a conference on leadership within a large organization of which I am a member. A key element in rightly understanding historic writings in order to bring valid conclusions regarding the meaning of such documents is to focus on authorial intent and working to set aside predispositions when initially reviewing the writing – what you might call checking your bias at the door.
We all have backgrounds, beliefs, and behaviors that shape our biases and whether we want to or not we bring those biases into every situation. All too often, we allow those biases to interpret the situation we are facing and we make decisions before fully understanding what is really going on in the situation. Learning to put personal predispositions aside and study any situation (or document) for its true meaning is a skill that is critical to effective leadership.
In the study of historical documents one needs to set aside their own bias and work to understand the true intent of the original author of the document. This is done by asking critical questions such as when was the document written, what was the culture, who was it written to, who was the author (not just a name, but biographically), and the like. Understanding the historical setting and the entire context surrounding the writing is required to determine the true meaning of what is written. Only then, can you start to draw conclusions and cautiously allow your own views and experience aid in determining what to do with the information you have before you.
In the same way, when you face a situation where you need to make a decision or add valued opinions and advice, it is important to try to understand the context surrounding the matter before allowing any preconceived notions or personal views enter the picture and potentially inappropriately jade your response. When you need to make a decision or provide input in a discussion, on a project team, in research and reporting, or in any other situation ensure you are doing your best to check your bias at the door. Sharpening this skill will not only help you make better decisions and provide more valuable advice, improving the integrity of your input, but it will help you grow significantly as a leader.
Have a great week!
Too often we . . . enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. – John Fitzgerald Kennedy
The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge. - Elbert Green Hubbard
Monday Morning Message – No. 276; March 5, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational on March 5, 2012
Face-2-Face
Did you miss last week’s Monday Morning Message? Unfortunately I was unable to write one and get it out as I was on a short-notice trip to visit some customers. The business discussions and actions that I worked on with the customers could have been done over the phone for the most part. So, why did I take the time to travel?
Those of you who travel for business know that it only adds to your busyness. My kids used to ask if they could go on business trips with me, thinking it would be exciting and fun and that my trips were adventurous for me as well. What they didn’t understand is that all I typically see is the insides of airports, hotels, and conference rooms; eat out too much and work out too little; and work until all hours of the late night/early morning catching up with email and other actions. Going on a trip that is unnecessary is the last thing in the world I would want to do!
I went on the trip because of the things that can’t get done over the phone or email. The face-to-face interaction with the customer is critically important to the success of my business. This is especially true during times of crisis or critical junctures in programs or the customer relationship. The time I spent outside of meetings, at lunches and dinners, and seeing people that I “happened” to run into, was invaluable and significantly helped to further the relationship and improve the opportunity for success on the programs.
In this day of virtual work technologies that allow us to work from almost anywhere at any time, we seem to be interacting in person with people less and less. It may be difficult to get on an airplane and see everyone you work with from time-to-time, but what about in the office? Are you more prone to send an email then pick up the phone and call someone or to pick up the phone instead of walking down the hall to see someone? Don’t underestimate the value of working with people in person. The face-to-face interaction is not always possible, but when it is, you may find that it significantly improves your relationships and opportunities for success in your work and personal life. Take the time when you can to talk face-to-face. You will be glad you did.
Traveling again tomorrow and next week….
Have a great week!
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh
This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. -Western Union internal memo, 1876
Monday Morning Message – No. 275; February 13, 2012
Posted by Brad Cook in Inspirational on February 13, 2012
Remembering Important Things (reposted from issue 240)
The origins of Valentine’s Day trace back to the ancient Roman celebration of Lupercalia. Held on February 15, Lupercalia honored the gods of Lupercus and Faunus, as well as the legendary founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus.
In addition to a bountiful feast, Lupercalia festivities are purported to have included the pairing of young women and men. Men would draw women’s names from a box, and each couple would be paired until next year’s celebration. Many of these pairings resulted in marriages.
While this pairing of couples set the tone for today’s holiday, it wasn’t called Valentine’s Day until a priest named Valentine came along. Valentine, a romantic at heart, disobeyed Emperor Claudius II’s decree that soldiers remain bachelors. Claudius handed down this decree believing that soldiers would be distracted and unable to concentrate on fighting if they were married or engaged. Valentine defied the Emperor and secretly performed marriage ceremonies. As a result of his defiance, Valentine was put to death on February 14th.
After Valentine’s death, he was named a saint. As Christianity spread through Rome, the priests moved Lupercalia from February 15th to February 14th and renamed it St. Valentine’s Day to honor Saint Valentine.
I don’t know all that surrounds the history of this particular day; it could very well be that Hallmark got together with Russel Stover and their other friends in the flower business and put it all together to increase sales. Many holidays seem more like “keep the commercial stores in business” events. Whatever the case, this day may be important to someone you know. They may be expecting you to remember them on Valentine’s Day in some manner. Flowers, candies, or some other gesture that communicates you are thinking of them can mean a lot. A card with a hand-written personal sentiment or better yet, a handmade card, may even communicate more.
One thing that I do know is that remembering things that are important to another person and doing something that shows you care, communicates that you value that person! If you have a hard time remembering such dates, do something to change that. Maybe you can add a reminder several days in advance on your calendar or ask a trusted friend or colleague to remind you. Take the time to remember others and what is important to them this week. You know you appreciate it when they do that for you!!
Have a great week!
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. – Jean Anouilh
Monday EXTRA
What Kids Think about Love (ages 5-10)
“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.”
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.”
“No one is sure why love happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.”
“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.”
“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.”
“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.”
“One of you should know how to write a check, because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.”
“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention isn’t the same thing as love.”
“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.”
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.”
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”
“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.”
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”
“My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.”
“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I’ve been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.”
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”